Parenting And Anger

Expression of anger, love or any other emotion changes with respect to experience of life . Another word for experience of life is your sense, which is different for each person. You can not say your expression of anger is same for all. It is just one form of energy as love is another form. If your expression of anger is same for all, your expression of love should be. You may be smart enough to try to show your expression of anger is same, but it is not.

Intensity of anger or any emotion is a different point. Intensity of anger does not change with experience of life, it changes with situation. Intensity of anger depend upon how the person reacts to you. If you are angry with somebody , but he says sorry to you, your intensity goes down immediately. If the opponent person starts more and more fighting, the intensity of anger goes up and up. The intensity of anger can take over you experience of life (that is sense) and if it happens you can do impossible things, both good and bad. If the anger takes cover of patriotism, people have fought in wars like they have power of elephant and if anger takes cover of hatred, even a 2 months baby gets killed.

I saw a documentary on discovery some days back. The name is something 'I do not believe I did it. ' It was about the impossible things done in real life in the events of life and death. The scientific experiments prove that there is some energy stored in every human being, which is used at this time. It the intensity of any emotion takes over sense, this energy is being used. Then a person can run faster than Michel Johnson. There are experiments in Huthyoga which teach you how to use this energy to get transform into Nirvan. S ant Dnyaneshwar used this energy for his Samadhi.

Once it is understood that for child the expression of emotion does not change with relationship, till you teach them so, it is easy to understand their behavior. Children do not behave differently in your home and in others home. If they get angry , they will slap you in your home and in your neighbors home also. If they are hungry they will ask for food in your home and your neighbor's home also. But now you will teach them to behave differently in your home and your neighbors home which we call social behaviour.

If some kid slaps your child what will you do ? . There are some parents , who teach their kids to slap back if another kid slaps him because they want him to become fighter. But they forgot there are fighters growing in all homes. But the same parents, when they slap their kid, they do not want thier child to slap them back.

Some parents will tell thier child 'Do not slap' or 'Do not fight'. This is confsuing for child because he WANT TO DO - and you are saying him NOT TO DO. You are telling the kid to supress his anger which will come in some other form and at some other time. It is best to express the anger than to supress it.

What is needed to do is turn the energy of anger into love. If you say your kid to hug another kid, kiss another kid, you are dong that. You are making way for the energy to dissipate but by a better way. But you need to remember to tell him TO DO. If you tell him, DO NOT SLAP and then tell him TO HUG, then it is useless. You are tellng him to supress his anger and then even if he hugs, it is useless.

You can yourself experience it as an adult. When you are angry with your mother,go and hug her. Things will suddenly change. Do not do this if your mother is angry. She do not know how to express her anger. This is for YOU to do on YOURSELF. Do not supress the anger, let it dissipate by some way. Go into bedroom and sing loudly, dance fiercly.

If you understand that when you get angry - other person though it is your child, has the freedom of anger, then the whole life will be completely different.