Parenting And Anger

Expression of anger, love or any other emotion changes with respect to experience of life . Another word for experience of life is your sense, which is different for each person. You can not say your expression of anger is same for all. It is just one form of energy as love is another form. If your expression of anger is same for all, your expression of love should be. You may be smart enough to try to show your expression of anger is same, but it is not.

Intensity of anger or any emotion is a different point. Intensity of anger does not change with experience of life, it changes with situation. Intensity of anger depend upon how the person reacts to you. If you are angry with somebody , but he says sorry to you, your intensity goes down immediately. If the opponent person starts more and more fighting, the intensity of anger goes up and up. The intensity of anger can take over you experience of life (that is sense) and if it happens you can do impossible things, both good and bad. If the anger takes cover of patriotism, people have fought in wars like they have power of elephant and if anger takes cover of hatred, even a 2 months baby gets killed.

I saw a documentary on discovery some days back. The name is something 'I do not believe I did it. ' It was about the impossible things done in real life in the events of life and death. The scientific experiments prove that there is some energy stored in every human being, which is used at this time. It the intensity of any emotion takes over sense, this energy is being used. Then a person can run faster than Michel Johnson. There are experiments in Huthyoga which teach you how to use this energy to get transform into Nirvan. S ant Dnyaneshwar used this energy for his Samadhi.

Once it is understood that for child the expression of emotion does not change with relationship, till you teach them so, it is easy to understand their behavior. Children do not behave differently in your home and in others home. If they get angry , they will slap you in your home and in your neighbors home also. If they are hungry they will ask for food in your home and your neighbor's home also. But now you will teach them to behave differently in your home and your neighbors home which we call social behaviour.

If some kid slaps your child what will you do ? . There are some parents , who teach their kids to slap back if another kid slaps him because they want him to become fighter. But they forgot there are fighters growing in all homes. But the same parents, when they slap their kid, they do not want thier child to slap them back.

Some parents will tell thier child 'Do not slap' or 'Do not fight'. This is confsuing for child because he WANT TO DO - and you are saying him NOT TO DO. You are telling the kid to supress his anger which will come in some other form and at some other time. It is best to express the anger than to supress it.

What is needed to do is turn the energy of anger into love. If you say your kid to hug another kid, kiss another kid, you are dong that. You are making way for the energy to dissipate but by a better way. But you need to remember to tell him TO DO. If you tell him, DO NOT SLAP and then tell him TO HUG, then it is useless. You are tellng him to supress his anger and then even if he hugs, it is useless.

You can yourself experience it as an adult. When you are angry with your mother,go and hug her. Things will suddenly change. Do not do this if your mother is angry. She do not know how to express her anger. This is for YOU to do on YOURSELF. Do not supress the anger, let it dissipate by some way. Go into bedroom and sing loudly, dance fiercly.

If you understand that when you get angry - other person though it is your child, has the freedom of anger, then the whole life will be completely different.

Competitions and hatred

We have failed miserably to understand the meaning of competitions. Our competitions put the roots of hatred into the minds of our kids. We fail to teach our kids that the competition is between the skills and not the persons. What we always think is person A competing to person B, school A competing to school B , country A competing to country B. We never differentiate person or communities from skills. Many people will say it is just game of words, or many will say there is no difference between the two.

Let me explain with example of Mahatma Gandhi. He was the only freedom fighter who knew what he was opposing. He opposed rulers of India who were ruling on the basis of discrimination. In the course of time they were British. Thats why he did not had personal hatred with British as other freedom fighters were having. The philosophy of nonviolence came because of his maturity to understand this fact. If there is no personal hatred, there was no need of violence. And thats why he opposed Subhashchandra Bose.

Shrikrishna in Geeta goes to very high lever of similar awakening. If there is no personal hatred, the action is being opposed and not the person, then it does not matter what action you make. Because you have to defend yourself in some cases

Are we loosing quality of Originality ?

According to C N R Rao, the scientific adviser to Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, "Science in India is dying. Unless India changes the scientific policies and practices that it has been following for the last five decades, its science could be dead in the next five years." In a recent speech, he said: "The contribution from universities is hitting an all-time low. Even the top institutions are not performing well in terms of research papers and the number of research students they train."

What he is saying about science is also applicable to other fields. Take literature or music for example. Where are Ravindranath Tagore, Jagdishchandra Bose, Shivkumar Sharma, in todays generation ?

Todays generation is definitely intelligent. But there is difference between intelligence and originality. Intelligence is ability to understand, acquire and grasp things at faster pace. But originality is use of intelligence to search and shape unnown things in the universe. Originality is usng intelligence to bind many known things tgether to form unknown thing in the universe.

The schools and education systems are to be blame for sure as they teach things to memories rather than feel and experience. They push too hurriedly to the exams rather than understanding.

We are proud that we are acquiring foreign companies and our people are going to abroad for jobs. But in the course we are killing the good systems there also. I was talking to Mike Rudolf, a software engineer, US citizen with 15 years of experience. He said the culture of the companies 15 years before was different when he had not had to work till 4 am in the morning. Now he can not find time to look after his interests and personal life

The Indians, Chinese and Japanese have already killed the industry culture in US and I can see some effects in the school systems also. I will not wonder if American schools which today emphasis more on understanding will emphasis on memorizing in coming 10 to 15 years to make their students compatible in the race.

These days are just about hild prodigies and child geniuses. The parents don’t want a good kid, they don’t want an original kid, what they want is a genius kid- a Bill Gates or Lakshmi Mittal or SRK, todays heros who have won the battle of fame and money.

Indian Missing : Do we need to introspect ?

Do we know why we are fighting for ?

Do we want to fight for cleanliness and poverty and end up fighting against biharis?
Do we want to fight against pollution and end up fighting against Dow chemical industry ?
Do we want to fight for settlement of homeless in Narmada dam acquisition area and fight against development of dam ?
Do we want to fight against unemployment and end up fighting against schedule castes ?

All the issues which rise in India are being created by controversial comments. Fun is these comments are made by lot of thinking from politicians but are read by without thinking by the readers. Not only that we do not think, we do not think that here is any need to think on such comments. The real jeopardy of India is there are intelligent people, there are educated people but there are no sensible people.

In the latest Marathi Bihari issue, same history got repeated. Instead of giving a detailed plan to solve the Mumbai problem, Raj Thakre put the fuel in already burning Mumbai. Surprisingly, lot of educated marathi people supported him. This clealry shows how we lack in wisdom though we have intelligence

This is happening because we never accept the problem or the issue as it is and move on from there. We do not have wisdom to convert an issue to an opportunity for development. It takes lot of maturity to accept mistakes in history. We do not expose our kids to the mistakes we have done in our past like riots after 1947 partition, 1983 anti sikh riots or 1991 Hindu muslim riot. The more we try to suppress things, more they will come to surface again and again. The first step of improvement is to accept our guilt.

Maslow has supposedly said that India has intelligence to become superpower but do not have wisdom to become super power. Do you think he is wrong ? Then you have to prove that he is wrong not only by mass production of engineers and doctors, not only by producing missiles and cryogenic engines, not only by acquiring foreign companies, but developing and managing basic resources like energy and water, developing strong and steady social system which do not shakes time to time on weired sentences and comments by politicians, by developing political system which runs on vision and not on votes.

Never in last 2000 years there was an opportunity for India to become a superpower and lead world as it is now. But question is are we going in the right direction or are we doing same mistakes as Germans did in 1938.